- Jennifer Aniston
O Jennifer, guardian of the hearts
of those who love adulterers, hear our prayer.
Keep watch over our boyfriends, and lead
them not into the arms of Angelinas,
but let them hold us faithfully in their minds
forever and ever.
- Lindsay Lohan
Our Lindsay, who art in rehab,
hollowed be thy name.
Because thou hath committed a multitude of sins,
both legal and social, and because thine sins
hath been written in the sacred US Weekly
thou hath been raised up as the patron celebrity
of Big Mistakes.
Preserve us from public humiliation
and shield us from bad judgment
so that our private and public lives
might forever remain separate.
- Kirstie Alley
Hail Kirstie, full of face,
Jenny Craig is with you.
Blessed are you among dieters, and blessed
are the pounds you shed and regain.
O Kirsty, goddess of weight
pray for us calorie counters now
and at the hour of lunch.
What role or service do you think celebrities provide within society? Do you think they are modern day "gods"?