Friday, April 23, 2010

Thank you for riding the Celebrity Line

Arriving at Fame. Fame Station.

Priority seating is intended for the beautiful and marketable. Your cooperation is requested.

Arriving at Paparazzi. Paparazzi Station.

Please mind the doors, the doors are now closing. Please do not charge the doors, doors are closing. Passengers, please step back from the doors and wait for the next train. We cannot move on until the doors are cleared. Thank you.

Arriving at Reality TV. Reality TV Station.

Doors are opening. Please mind the gap between your personal and public life.

Your attention please. We are currently experiencing a delay at our Tabloid Station, due to sexual infidelity. Publicists are on site, and we hope to be moving on shortly.

We are being delayed, waiting for the scandal to clear. We expect to be moving shortly.

Please be advised that imperfection is not permitted anywhere on the Celebrity Line. Violators will be slandered.

The delay we were experiencing at our Tabloid Station has now cleared and normal service has resumed.

Arriving at Has-Been. Has-Been Station.

Please remember to collect your self-worth and exit through the common doors.

Arriving at Infomercial. Infomercial Station. This is our final stop. All passengers, please exit the train.

Thank you for riding the Celebrity Line.

This poem was written in response to NaPoWriMo Poetry Prompt #23: unlikely couples on Read Write Poem.

        Do you go out of your way to follow celebrity gossip (by that I mean, do you read/purchase celebrity magazines or watch entertainment report programs)? Why or why not?


Dorkmaster Flek said...

Hahahaha, this made me laugh so hard. Well, in my head. :) Hell no, I hate that celebrity bullshit. Who gives a flying fuck who Brad Pitt is banging on the side? Well apparently lots of people do, but not me. :P

Dorkmaster Flek said...

Something else I just thought of. I know lots of people and they're all like "Oh yeah, who cares?" and shit, but that shit still sells like mad! So who's lying to me? Obviously, people are buying this crap, so let's have it. Who's telling me they don't care and secretly pouring over every detail? :P

Claudia said...

hehe, nope. I've never bought them. When I'm in the mood for celebrity gossip there's plenty to browse through online!

Claudia said...

ok, Andrew, to be fair, I say I don't care, but sometimes when a lady's in her PMS mood she needs to know that the beautiful people in movies are just slummin it in real life just like she is.


Only Footprints said...

What else to do while waiting at the doctors? Funny! Thanks for the ride! said...

Absolutely brilliant. No, I despise the celebrity culture kick, although enjoy individually celebs who have actually achieved something other than just being celebs!

Andrea said...

HAHA, I LOVED THIS. Well written, Shay, but then again no surprise there! ;) I agree with Claud, I never spend money on celebrity gossip... and I've tried to follow Perez and such religiously, but at the end of the day, I really don't care. If I am curious, I'll look stuff up, but sadly, its usually Keith that informs me on the latest dish. Lol, go figure!

Julie Jordan Scott said...

lol. This made me laugh... and it is so true!!

Ride that celebrity line... (I will remember that!)

Read my day 23 poem here...

Wanda McCollar said...

Very creative idea - cleverly carried out. Enjoyed the trip.

Leonard Blumfeld said...


Anonymous said...

Good poem. Very funny.

Andy Sewina said...

Yeah, cool images, the celebrity line is a great idea. I love the names of the stations, and what they mean!

Wayne Pitchko said...

it worked Shayla....and so did your poem...nicely done

Mary said...

Well for every person who's sick of celebrity there are probably 2 or 3 who are really into it. So I don't think anyone's lying... There's just still a lot of people into it. I don't give a dime to magazines or anything like that, but if it's the only thing in the doc's office to read, sure I'll pick up a "People" or "US Weekly"... something to look at. I used to watch Entertainment Weekly in highschool and I have no idea why. I just enjoyed movies and wanted to know the latest dish. But now it's not about the movies or shows, it's about absolutely NOTHING... it makes me angry what people think news is these days. I will admit, sometimes I watch TMZ for a few minutes to see how completely retarded it is and have a giggle. Have you ever seen that show? A bunch of tabloid workers sit around the office talking about the latest stories. An example would be "So we followed around Bruce Willis the other day and finally got a shot of him with his kids! He pushed me and gave me the finger... What an asshole!!". Like... seriously?... I wish Britney Spears would run more Papparazzi over with her car.

Katie said...

Damn Shayla, people loved this poem (as do I)! Good one!

And no, I do not buy any of the tabloids EVER. But I totally read them!! Troy's mom buys them left right and centre so I read them all the time.

BUT the only stories I'm really interested in are Brad and Angelina, Jennifer Aniston, and that whole Jon and Kate plus Hate thing. Those kids are gonna be effed - just wait and see. And some times the plastic surgery stuff. Besides that, I just look at pictures. :)