Tuesday, March 2, 2010

1:30 a.m.

Let’s play the part of a sleeping person:
What does a sleeping person look like?
How does a sleeping person breathe?

Is it hot in here? It’s hot.


How are a sleeping person’s eyes?
What does a sleeping person see?

Should I pull back the blankets?
No, just lie still.


How are a sleeping person’s shoulders?

It’s the cat: she’s like a little oven.
Kick her off the bed.


Fine, we’ll try something else.
Let’s clear our mind:
Take a deep breath in
and exhale out all thoughts.
Take a deep breath in

I can hear the furnace coming on.


and exhale out all thoughts.
Take a deep breath in

Maybe I should try something else?
Shut up.


and exhale out all thoughts.
Take a deep breath in

Is it the medication that’s keeping me up?


and exhale out all thoughts.
Take a deep breath in

What if it isn’t?
What if I’m developing actual insomnia?


and exhale out all thoughts.
Take a deep breath in

I wish Andrew was awake.


and exhale out all thoughts.
Take a deep breath in

Should I wake him up?
What on earth for? Let him sleep.


and exhale out all thoughts.
Take a deep breath in

Would you listen to that lucky bastard sleep?


I’ve never been good at meditation.
Remember that thing Dad used to do?
Let’s try that:
Your toes are getting very heavy,
like little weights are attached to them.
They are sinking down into the mattress.

How much rest does your body get without REM?
Will just lying here help at all?


The weight is traveling
all the way up to your ankles.
They are getting very heavy,
sinking deep into the mattress.

I don’t feel them sinking.


Are they sunk all the way already?
…all the way up to your knees.
Feel your calf muscles relax completely
and sink into the mattress.

Should I feel more asleep yet?
Go slower.


All the tension is draining from your
ankles and they are dead weight.

I don’t think this is working.


…all the way up to your hips.
Your whole lower body is totally relaxed.

What if I stay awake all night?
I can’t call in sick tomorrow.


Your lower body has sunk
into the mattress.

Give up and roll over.
Let’s try it again from a new position.






Photo by Justin Silles



        What do you do when you can't sleep? Does it happen to you often?

3 comments:

Dorkmaster Flek said...

You did wake me up, if I recall. :) I read or play video games. Which is basically what I do when I'm awake anyway... :P

JMH said...

Usually I picture pitching in a wiffle ball game in a park by the lake in summer. The bat cracks and the ball flies high in the air and I chase it down and catch it. Over and over.

Does it work? No. But it gives me about fifteen minutes more of sleep than worrying does. Small victories.

Mary said...

Haha Johnny is the insomniac in our relationship. He'll sit there watching me sleep so peacefully and it makes him angrier that he's not doing the same thing.

But it happens to me sometimes. If it's like 2am and I still can't fall asleep, I will change positions in the bed (head at the foot of the bed) or switch to the couch... if that doesn't work I'll turn the TV on to something super boring, turn it down really low so I can barely hear it and try and watch it til I pass out. Usually those things work.