Thursday, January 28, 2010

My stubborn heart

By guest poet Carissa of

Moving Mountains with my mind,
Shifting rivers with my soul,
Watching movies while I’m blind,
Turning plastic into gold,
I feel like all this inspiration
Is getting a bit old.

I’m trying I’m trying.
I’m crying I’m crying.
I love you, but I don’t want to.
I’ve tried to no avail,
To stop my waterfall of feelings
With this sand castle pail.

My heart, a ticking time-bomb
That I’m trying to diffuse.
I said “heart don’t tick for him”
But the stubborn heart refused.
I’m losing all hope.
I pull myself to the side.
Tried to freeze these emotions
That are bubbling up inside.

No matter how you try,
You can’t fight a love.
It’s like building dams of paper
Trying to stop a flood.
Take that a lesson learned.
You can’t control a stubborn heart
With a mind of it’s own.

Thanks to our final guest poet this week, a fellow Laid contributor: Carissa! Show your love by leaving a comment below and checking out more of her writing on her newly launched blog,

        Have you ever had feelings for someone and wished those feelings would just go away (aw, sure you have -- everyone has)? How did you deal with them?


Dorkmaster Flek said...

I wonder about that. Why do people love people that keep breaking their hearts? We see it happen so often in movies and TV, and we yell at the screen about how the character is being stupid, but it happens in life as well or it wouldn't be resonating with people on screen. I assume you're not just talking about getting over somebody on a break up. That just plain sucks in general. :)

Carissa. said...

You know Dorkmaster, I wonder the same thing. I think people continue to love people who break their hearts because being in love is like a surrender of control. To me it's letting go of the steering wheel to see where "love" takes you. In my case...crash n burrrn. If I had control of the wheel, I would have hit the brakes on my feelings soo fast, but I somehow just couldnt as much as I tried. It's sort of unexplainable to me.

Also I think i kept loving this guy cuz i took the term "unconditional love" very seriously, almost too seriously. It just so happened that the condition was "he didn't love me back anymore". c'est la vie.*shrugs.

p.s i dont currently have these feelings. i wrote this last week but i havn't had to deal with my stubborn heart since about a year ago. :D just taking a trip down memory lane

p.p.s @Shayla Thanks for letting me stop by with a guest spot on your blog. I visit often also.

Shannon Teresa said...

I'm very proud Carissa, you're like my lil sister or mini me (except way more advanced than I was at 18) my fav lines are the plastic to gold and then the last line - because it broke the pattern I was all "!"

I think that crazy, psycho emotion is in all of us - we are addictive people. And addicts don't rehab they just find a new fix. Last year December this guy broke my heart and I was a MESS - so this year I discovered the Internet... funny/ sad but true!

Adelaide said...

@Carissa - that's one discussion I've had with myself over and over again, in the context of many different types of relationships: How do you find the balance between accepting someone just as they are (ie. loving them unconditionally) and encouraging them to improve themselves and become a better person?

Great poem. I was really excited when you offered to be a guest poet.