Thursday, August 6, 2009

Marriage changes everything


Andrew comes home from his work party
drunk and wanting a hug.

Even before he recounts the all food he ate
in vivid detail, the mini hamburgers,
the well-seasoned shrimp with just a hint of heat,
he describes a conversation with a newlywed friend
who warned, Beware -- marriage changes everything.

But not for us, Andrew says, his tone
both question and answer.

I don’t know, but I can’t help
doubting that one piece of paper
representing a faith we don’t hold
and a law we sometimes break
will change our lives
when it won’t even change my last name.

Time will change us, certainly,
but that is a different battle.

7 comments:

Dorkmaster Flek said...

We'll show them all! Just you wait!

Erin said...

So why the rush to get married then? I suppose that's the natural question to ask. Aside from loving someone so much that you want to spend forever (or something like that) with them. I want to know what a feminist, future sex columnist sees in this failing institution. Maybe you could write an article on the merits of marriage or along the lines of "why put off marriage when you could have forever now."

I need something to believe in after watching my parents fail countless times. Inspire me with your youthful words of wisdom!

Mary said...

Yeah I don't think marriage to be all that important if you're already committed to each other. I think it's just good to have for health and tax benefits, etc... Which is why I will probably one day get hitched (ugh) but you know me, I've never wanted a stupid wedding anyway. We'll see what happens. But yeah I'd say living together would change things in a relationship more than the act of marriage. Being around each other allll the time when you're used to seeing each other maybe 3 times a week. That's probably the bigger adjustment.

Adelaide said...

Erin, your comment had me THINKING at seven a.m. this morning, and that alone is enough to buy you a response!

I'll be posting one, either here or on LAID (I've e-mailed Shannon to ask if she thinks it would be appropriate for LAID, even though it doesn't have much to do with sex) after I take a little more time to mull it over and organize my thoughts.

Shannon Teresa said...

I will be thinking about this poem all day. I spoke to my sister last night and we had a great chat about how a baby has changed everything in her life, she said,

"I would give anything to feel like myself again."

Sometimes we overlook that big steps equal big changes which means major adjustments. But when you already live with that person, how could marraige change much...

Erin said...

Shayla,
Glad it made you think! I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts on the issue. I enjoyed your True Love Doesn't Wait article.

-Erin

Adelaide said...

It took longer than expected, but my response to Erin is written and posted here on LAID.